Written a while ago, but relevant
Don’t know what I am writing about right now, just sitting around in the silence that is my new life, and felt like writing. It is funny how silence and being alone will prompt the mind into moving, which is why its good to be alone sometimes without any distractions.
I am at a crossroads in my life in more ways than one and I have decided the path that seems best for me at this point. First, my lease on the non-commital life is about to run out. Grad school is back in my life and I have one semester left until real life begins. I have been postponing living for the last 23 years, probably the last four I have done so consciously. I define real life as joining the rest of the world in the misery that turns out to be their lives. The sad part is, the life that I speak of is not even that miserable. You get to have kids, have a lovely wife, have a great job, buy fancy things, and meet some cool people. I actually would be quite happy with that path, but the truth is, I do not think that I was put on this planet for that purpose. I have ideas that I feel I must share, and things that I think I must do. But I have been afraid of being a failure and have shunned away from making any big moves into the unknown. I know (or at least have complete confidence) that I could get a job and make lots of money, and that I could find a wife and settle down, but I am completely unsure of what my life would be like if I tried to do something completely original. The worst part is that I do not even know what that thing would be. I want to write, I want to sing, I want to influence the world, but I have no idea how to go about doing those things. Correction, I have only one idea of how to do that thing. I simply have to do it. But when there is only one way to start doing something, there is a very real chance of failing horribly. I keep picturing myself homeless and abandoned if I were to give up on the ‘traditional’ life that is so safe.
If I had a son and he told me that he wanted to be a ball player or a singing star, I would tell him that his chances of success were incredibly slim. I would not necessarily tell him to give up on his dreams, but I would tell him to make plans to deal with reality if his dreams fail. So I should give the same advice to myself. I even have thought that I have been living my advice, but truly I have been so busy creating a cushion for my failed dream that I never went to sleep. It is time for me to change all that. There is nothing left for me to do except shoot for the stars. I have an excellent job lined up, and I have school on lock down, all I have now is a whole bunch of time to do whatever I want. But I must not let fear keep me from doing what needs to be done. I have always loved the fact that I am a procrastinator, so its crunch time for me. I need to put something in motion quickly or else it will be working time and I will be in the hustle for the rest of my life. Love ya ma. I have been given a gift and I must share it with the world. GOD give me the strength and the determination to conquer my fear. I will start writing today and will only stop when I have given up on this part of my life. I have never claimed to be much of an author, but I hope that truth will be heard whether the format is correct or not. With that said, here goes…
I am at a crossroads in my life in more ways than one and I have decided the path that seems best for me at this point. First, my lease on the non-commital life is about to run out. Grad school is back in my life and I have one semester left until real life begins. I have been postponing living for the last 23 years, probably the last four I have done so consciously. I define real life as joining the rest of the world in the misery that turns out to be their lives. The sad part is, the life that I speak of is not even that miserable. You get to have kids, have a lovely wife, have a great job, buy fancy things, and meet some cool people. I actually would be quite happy with that path, but the truth is, I do not think that I was put on this planet for that purpose. I have ideas that I feel I must share, and things that I think I must do. But I have been afraid of being a failure and have shunned away from making any big moves into the unknown. I know (or at least have complete confidence) that I could get a job and make lots of money, and that I could find a wife and settle down, but I am completely unsure of what my life would be like if I tried to do something completely original. The worst part is that I do not even know what that thing would be. I want to write, I want to sing, I want to influence the world, but I have no idea how to go about doing those things. Correction, I have only one idea of how to do that thing. I simply have to do it. But when there is only one way to start doing something, there is a very real chance of failing horribly. I keep picturing myself homeless and abandoned if I were to give up on the ‘traditional’ life that is so safe.
If I had a son and he told me that he wanted to be a ball player or a singing star, I would tell him that his chances of success were incredibly slim. I would not necessarily tell him to give up on his dreams, but I would tell him to make plans to deal with reality if his dreams fail. So I should give the same advice to myself. I even have thought that I have been living my advice, but truly I have been so busy creating a cushion for my failed dream that I never went to sleep. It is time for me to change all that. There is nothing left for me to do except shoot for the stars. I have an excellent job lined up, and I have school on lock down, all I have now is a whole bunch of time to do whatever I want. But I must not let fear keep me from doing what needs to be done. I have always loved the fact that I am a procrastinator, so its crunch time for me. I need to put something in motion quickly or else it will be working time and I will be in the hustle for the rest of my life. Love ya ma. I have been given a gift and I must share it with the world. GOD give me the strength and the determination to conquer my fear. I will start writing today and will only stop when I have given up on this part of my life. I have never claimed to be much of an author, but I hope that truth will be heard whether the format is correct or not. With that said, here goes…
posted by Anthony Jackson at 1:51 PM
1 Comments:
Brother, you are the smartest person I know and it's not cause you went to TJ and I didn't :) You got that swagger and the lingo to take you anywhere you want. And you have the brains to do something amazing when you get there. So don't be scared cause you're going to land on your feet wherever you go. And, for some odd reason, you do wind up homeless, you can crash at my place till whenever. Just as long as you take out the trash :) Plus, Pursuit of Happyness guy, Tyler Perry, and Shiloh Baptist preacher were all homeless before they hit it big. Maybe that's the way to success...uhhh, but I"m sure there's some guy out there still homeless who had that same idea. So maybe that's not a good idea. OK, I'll stop cause I'm starting to write a blog myself.
Love ya,
your sis
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