Lost Ones
What the hell happened to all those people that used to be our closest friends??? I must give facebook one ounce of credit for at least making me think about these people. I have so many people in my life that used to be my ‘close’ or ‘best’ friends, but now have very little effect on my actual life. Did these people change, did I change, or will we always have that special bond that drew us together so long ago.
I still remember my best friends from the first stages of my life. The childhood friends of Chesapeake VA that dissolved into the recesses of my memory when I moved away. What happened to them and why do I not really care about what happened to them. Would I still be friends with them today and what does that mean if I did not.
As much as I wonder about these things, I have come to the conclusions that I have accepted on this topic. Friends are like software that make our lives easier. When we were young and just learning that there was a better way to go about living (with friends) we eagerly gobbled them up and associated them into our lives. But the problem is that most young people, and certainly myself, did not have that great of a grasp on who we were and what we were going to grow to be. So we had friends that we grew with, but eventually would outgrow. Friends tend to stay relevant for as long as they share common experiences. High school friends stay close until they leave high school and live different experiences, likewise for college, and life in general. The exception being those individuals that truly form a connection with you, and even then the connection becomes less dependent when your experiences grow apart. I am blessed to have friends that I can depend on for life (most of the people who read this fall into this category) but there are countless others that have been forgotten or left behind from my growth as a person.
I feel like I got sidetracked. So back to software. Our early lives give us Friends v1.0 and since we learn about ourselves in an almost logarithmic curve ( quickly at first and then slower as time goes on) we change through friends very quickly as we grow into maturity. By the time you are in high school you are on like Version 3.2 and are no closer to quitting your nasty habit of friend disposal. That habit probably only ends when you are no longer interested in taking on new friends. I sort of feel like I am there now, I have all the friends that I could possibly need for a lifetime, and I seriously doubt that anyone I meet now would best them in their capacity to compliment me.
But this still does not stop me from wondering about the past about and about these past relationships. Do you simply cut them off when they are no longer a daily part of your life? I don’t think so. At least not for the friendships that are true. A true friend is someone that I can call on, whether I talked to them yesterday or a year ago, and expect them to be there for me (in a reasonable capacity) without question.
I recently contacted an ex named Tanya because I was not sure that if ending that relationship was a good idea. I was doubting one of my fundamental thoughts in life. What is meant to be will be. And talking to her confirmed that I was still not supposed to be with this person. If sometime in the future that should change, so be it, but all I can go on is the fact that we grew apart for a reason.
This is the mindset I apply to friends as well, some friends fall by the wayside and are forgotten, some fall by the wayside and will always be there for you like a good bench on a sports team, and then there are your starting five that are your current dynasty builders. Well this has been more of a rant than anything but so be it.
I still remember my best friends from the first stages of my life. The childhood friends of Chesapeake VA that dissolved into the recesses of my memory when I moved away. What happened to them and why do I not really care about what happened to them. Would I still be friends with them today and what does that mean if I did not.
As much as I wonder about these things, I have come to the conclusions that I have accepted on this topic. Friends are like software that make our lives easier. When we were young and just learning that there was a better way to go about living (with friends) we eagerly gobbled them up and associated them into our lives. But the problem is that most young people, and certainly myself, did not have that great of a grasp on who we were and what we were going to grow to be. So we had friends that we grew with, but eventually would outgrow. Friends tend to stay relevant for as long as they share common experiences. High school friends stay close until they leave high school and live different experiences, likewise for college, and life in general. The exception being those individuals that truly form a connection with you, and even then the connection becomes less dependent when your experiences grow apart. I am blessed to have friends that I can depend on for life (most of the people who read this fall into this category) but there are countless others that have been forgotten or left behind from my growth as a person.
I feel like I got sidetracked. So back to software. Our early lives give us Friends v1.0 and since we learn about ourselves in an almost logarithmic curve ( quickly at first and then slower as time goes on) we change through friends very quickly as we grow into maturity. By the time you are in high school you are on like Version 3.2 and are no closer to quitting your nasty habit of friend disposal. That habit probably only ends when you are no longer interested in taking on new friends. I sort of feel like I am there now, I have all the friends that I could possibly need for a lifetime, and I seriously doubt that anyone I meet now would best them in their capacity to compliment me.
But this still does not stop me from wondering about the past about and about these past relationships. Do you simply cut them off when they are no longer a daily part of your life? I don’t think so. At least not for the friendships that are true. A true friend is someone that I can call on, whether I talked to them yesterday or a year ago, and expect them to be there for me (in a reasonable capacity) without question.
I recently contacted an ex named Tanya because I was not sure that if ending that relationship was a good idea. I was doubting one of my fundamental thoughts in life. What is meant to be will be. And talking to her confirmed that I was still not supposed to be with this person. If sometime in the future that should change, so be it, but all I can go on is the fact that we grew apart for a reason.
This is the mindset I apply to friends as well, some friends fall by the wayside and are forgotten, some fall by the wayside and will always be there for you like a good bench on a sports team, and then there are your starting five that are your current dynasty builders. Well this has been more of a rant than anything but so be it.
posted by Anthony Jackson at 6:37 PM
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