Prostitution Revisited
Confrontation…It’s got my heart pumping a little faster… Me (a friend of mine’s sister) is right about one thing, I do not get enough challenge to my ideas. Thank you, and let’s analyze. Here’s the response to my Prostitution post, written by Me (not me):
Dude, A. Are you serious with this post? First, I concur with Tatamwari- I thought the only reason one didn't sleep with prostitutes is because your schlong would explode? A nice serving of emotionless sex and a side order of HIV to go. No thank you.And I've posted on your blog before, and finally, you have me convinced that you do not understand women. That or you've placed yourself on some undeserving pedestal that you cannot even take the time to be introspective or self evaluatory enough to realize that dude, your theories just do not make sense. Or perhaps you just need less "yes" men around you. Dating as prostitution (I've indeed heard it all.)And FYI. The feminist in me needs you to recognize that prostitutes ARE honest women. Sometimes, a woman has to survive how she may. And her body sometimes is what she has because the man's weakness for the flesh is legendary. And there are those who are in it due to a lack of choice. Think drugs, desperation, an abusive spouse/ boyfriend, kidnapping or just the plain old pimp stereotype. They're no less honest than any other woman out there. It's mindsets and comments like yours which contribute to stereotypes and prevent abused prostitutes from getting the help and attention they need.Dude, you need to sit down while you're out in Nigeria and do some thinking. P.s. Nigeria is not all that bad. Just leave Lagos. It's the pits.
End Post
My, my, Me, seems I have struck a nerve. So let’s see if we can clear some things up, because this looks like the usual case of mistaken identity.
Yes, Me, I am serious with this post. And I also would throw STD’s in the mix with reasons for not sleeping with a prostitute, but certainly not the only reason. Otherwise, brothels specializing in clean women (and I am sure there are such ‘classy’ places) would by my after-school hang out. The purpose of the post was not to address the risks involved, but whether I personally thought it was right or wrong for me to become involved in such activities.
Me, I freely admit that I do not understand women, heck, I don’t even know if women understand women. But I get along with them, so I guess that is all I can ask for. In addition to that admission, I have placed myself on a pedestal. I am one of those ‘God’s gift to women’ guys that women despise, but guess what, you women put me here. I had no idea I was a catch until women told me so. Luckily I have some friends that bring me back down to size eventually. I do, however, resent the accusation of not being introspective or self-evaluatory. I consider myself to be the very embodiment of those things. And why do people, in this case Me, make statements like ‘your theories just do not make sense’. Please elaborate, be specific. Which theories, and what about them do not make sense? A theory is meant to be tested (to their possible destruction), otherwise I would call them laws.
Lastly, I would like to agree with you and dispel any notion that prostitutes are not honest women. They are as honest as the rest of us, they just practice a social taboo. I just do not think highly of their chosen profession, but then again, I don’t really like lawyers or engineers either. But we all make a living doing what it is we are able to do best. That being said, I do think its an unfortunate fact that most women are led into this life by Me’s aforementioned reason, but nothing I wrote about ever implied otherwise.
My post was an objective evaluation of the idea of prostitution and my interaction with it. I purposely stayed out of the murky waters of contemplating the actual prostitutes. So which comments contribute to the stereotypes of prostitutes and prevent them from getting help? I suspect that was just a reactionary statement to satisfy the ‘feminist in you’.
Inadvertently, my blog has turned into exactly what I wanted, a place of dialogue. Awaiting your reply…
Dude, A. Are you serious with this post? First, I concur with Tatamwari- I thought the only reason one didn't sleep with prostitutes is because your schlong would explode? A nice serving of emotionless sex and a side order of HIV to go. No thank you.And I've posted on your blog before, and finally, you have me convinced that you do not understand women. That or you've placed yourself on some undeserving pedestal that you cannot even take the time to be introspective or self evaluatory enough to realize that dude, your theories just do not make sense. Or perhaps you just need less "yes" men around you. Dating as prostitution (I've indeed heard it all.)And FYI. The feminist in me needs you to recognize that prostitutes ARE honest women. Sometimes, a woman has to survive how she may. And her body sometimes is what she has because the man's weakness for the flesh is legendary. And there are those who are in it due to a lack of choice. Think drugs, desperation, an abusive spouse/ boyfriend, kidnapping or just the plain old pimp stereotype. They're no less honest than any other woman out there. It's mindsets and comments like yours which contribute to stereotypes and prevent abused prostitutes from getting the help and attention they need.Dude, you need to sit down while you're out in Nigeria and do some thinking. P.s. Nigeria is not all that bad. Just leave Lagos. It's the pits.
End Post
My, my, Me, seems I have struck a nerve. So let’s see if we can clear some things up, because this looks like the usual case of mistaken identity.
Yes, Me, I am serious with this post. And I also would throw STD’s in the mix with reasons for not sleeping with a prostitute, but certainly not the only reason. Otherwise, brothels specializing in clean women (and I am sure there are such ‘classy’ places) would by my after-school hang out. The purpose of the post was not to address the risks involved, but whether I personally thought it was right or wrong for me to become involved in such activities.
Me, I freely admit that I do not understand women, heck, I don’t even know if women understand women. But I get along with them, so I guess that is all I can ask for. In addition to that admission, I have placed myself on a pedestal. I am one of those ‘God’s gift to women’ guys that women despise, but guess what, you women put me here. I had no idea I was a catch until women told me so. Luckily I have some friends that bring me back down to size eventually. I do, however, resent the accusation of not being introspective or self-evaluatory. I consider myself to be the very embodiment of those things. And why do people, in this case Me, make statements like ‘your theories just do not make sense’. Please elaborate, be specific. Which theories, and what about them do not make sense? A theory is meant to be tested (to their possible destruction), otherwise I would call them laws.
Lastly, I would like to agree with you and dispel any notion that prostitutes are not honest women. They are as honest as the rest of us, they just practice a social taboo. I just do not think highly of their chosen profession, but then again, I don’t really like lawyers or engineers either. But we all make a living doing what it is we are able to do best. That being said, I do think its an unfortunate fact that most women are led into this life by Me’s aforementioned reason, but nothing I wrote about ever implied otherwise.
My post was an objective evaluation of the idea of prostitution and my interaction with it. I purposely stayed out of the murky waters of contemplating the actual prostitutes. So which comments contribute to the stereotypes of prostitutes and prevent them from getting help? I suspect that was just a reactionary statement to satisfy the ‘feminist in you’.
Inadvertently, my blog has turned into exactly what I wanted, a place of dialogue. Awaiting your reply…
posted by Anthony Jackson at 6:07 AM
3 Comments:
Okay. An example of a theory I consider senseless? The comparison of dating to prostitution. In particular, the paternalistic idea of the dating ritual. You know, the man feeds the girl, the man pays, the man pays the woman attention... Dude, you forgot the cage. And why stop at dating? By your example, everything can be compared to prostitution.
I can't help but take some offense at a male who does place himself on a pedestal and who acknowledges that he is on said pedestal. (Ladies, this is why you do NOT gas up a guy's head)... Your prostitution blog and the commentary on your interest in women, along with reasons as to why you won't date/ sleep with person X, Y, or Z, seriously? Perhaps I took offense as quickly as I did because there was an odd elitism inherent in that blog. I.e. the four seasons to the labor community. I think the error is perhaps your thought process did not fully translate into print. But I still read it the way I did.
And comments contributing to stereotypes? You said at one point that you do not think highly of someone you're just using for sex. (Paraphrasing of course.) That's a mindset that's very common in society. I'm one of those people that place a premium on sex when it happens to be my body. BUT... you're commenting that you do not think highly of prostitutes. I get it, I get it. They're a social taboo. But that mindset is just a hop, skip and a jump from those people who think so poorly of their profession, or are so colored in their views of the profession, that when a sexually assaulted prostitute screams for help, people often say "well, they asked for it." (Note that most of this is soap box preaching. I surely do point a scolding and judgmental finger. I just enjoy being hypocritical, I guess.)
Me,
It’s one thing to not like the paternalistic idea of the dating ritual, but a complete other thing to deny its existence and prevalence. This is still a man’s world, and I am saying this not condescendingly but matter-of-factly. This is proven through our leaders, our heroes, compensation discrepancies, and in the way men and women interact socially (i.e. dating). MAN approaches woman, most times MAN is expected to pay, MAN drives, etc… these are the societal norms that are far fading but not gone. So yes, the cage and chastity belt (which is actually a myth) are gone, but not far gone.
Really it’s the next question you asked that is more important, why stop at dating? Indeed, dating was just an example; really the principle applies to every aspect of life. The idea that relationships, career decisions, beliefs is a give/take and risk/reward system is in my mind unquestionable.
As far as the pedestal hating…why? What if I deserve to be on a pedestal, would it be wrong to accept the fact that I am there. Plus your language of ‘male who does place himself’ should not apply here, I stand by the fact that I was placed here by women and buoyed by the multitude of men (black men specifically) who make me look better. And yes, I am tainted with elitism, me and Obama connect on that one, jk.
No thought process ever translates completely into text, but in no way did I say I don’t think highly of someone I am using for sex. That is the complete opposite of what I said. The blog asks hypothetically “how highly would you have to think of someone to use them for sex” and then is followed with “for me, it’s pretty high”. I have nothing against the prostitute, I just don’t think her/his job is that awesome… it implies, but does not necessitate, character flaws more so than other professions.
My impression is still that you saw what you wanted to see in my blog, but that’s human nature I guess.
You are right. One only sees what they they want to see :-)
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