Anonymously Correct
Maybe I should right about relationships more often because I seem to actually get comments from these kinds of posts. Well here is a quote from Anonymous person, who, seems to hit the nail on the head. So lets talk about it... Here is the Quote and what follows is the response.
Quote:
I assume that someone who claims to want such a female will have complementary characters. Don't you think that you know at least one girl who is at least [borderline] attractive, has a great sense of humor, loves music, can cook, is inspired, etc? You should perhaps stop and mentally list out your female friends and think of those (or that one) that make you laugh, enjoys cooking, attending concerts/ enjoys music, etc. These lists of what I want in a person can be tiresome especially as in the end, this ideal girl is usually right in front of you.
Response:
First, yes I do claim to have complimentary characters. One of my favorite features, and man its hard to say that statement without arrogance, is to hold others to a standard no less to my own. Second, of course I know many such women...well not many, but certainly more than a couple. This post is really to you ladies, and to the friends in general in my life. If you consider youself to be my friend and I do the same, most likely I hold you in the highest of esteem. And most likely, especially the women, you meet the requirements put into the previous post.
The women in my life are cultured, intelligent, diverse, understanding, creative, and spontaneous... all that most men could ask for and more. So if I were to stand the women of my life in front of me and ask if they meet these qualities, the answer is yes.
The truth is that I have been fortunate to have many women in my life of a supreme standard that I have simply not considered to be 'the one' . One of the oddest of statements to come out of my life begins with "I would be happy to spend my life with you...but", and although I have seldomly said that, I know that it is true for a few females that I have had the pleasure of knowing. For me, the minimum that I expect is to be simply "ABLE" to live with someone. What I look for is that rocketship love that propels a person to a place they have never been before. And perhaps that is a consequence of being me... I truly am happy with myself. I could live with myself, my thoughts and my friends for the foreseeable future with no problems. And that contentedness is what prevents me from settling with 'good'. Its spectacular or nothing! Maybe I am dooming myself to be alone forever, but the sad part is, I think I would be okay with that for the most part. I suspect the dying years of the 70's and 80's will be rough, but maybe God will sustain me then... All I know is, a partner will not serve to complete me, they would serve to transform me.
Back on track (it's cinco de mayo, and I have margarita's for blood). The list that I put forward for the perfect girl was doomed from the start. Not only can you not dictate who and what qualities you want in a person, but even if a person has that, there is no garuntee that you will fall for said person. From what I have experienced and observed from love, 50% comes from luck/fate/chance/destiny and the other 50% comes from the you and your state in life. Never is it as simple as this is what I want, this is what i will accept.
So do women that I know meet the criteria... YES. I would not name them here, because it would give yall on the list big heads, and hurt the feelings of those not listed, but you should know who you are. The only thing that the anonymous writer was wrong about was the right person being right in front of me. The right person should use the list I mentioned as a floor and not a ceiling. Meaning, it is the minimum to start off with. And even then, there are probably exceptions. So I confess that my list was incomplete and not indicitave of what I expect in a women. But maybe this is why guys never write such silly lists in the first place, we know they are hodge podge when put up against the test of the real world.
Quote:
I assume that someone who claims to want such a female will have complementary characters. Don't you think that you know at least one girl who is at least [borderline] attractive, has a great sense of humor, loves music, can cook, is inspired, etc? You should perhaps stop and mentally list out your female friends and think of those (or that one) that make you laugh, enjoys cooking, attending concerts/ enjoys music, etc. These lists of what I want in a person can be tiresome especially as in the end, this ideal girl is usually right in front of you.
Response:
First, yes I do claim to have complimentary characters. One of my favorite features, and man its hard to say that statement without arrogance, is to hold others to a standard no less to my own. Second, of course I know many such women...well not many, but certainly more than a couple. This post is really to you ladies, and to the friends in general in my life. If you consider youself to be my friend and I do the same, most likely I hold you in the highest of esteem. And most likely, especially the women, you meet the requirements put into the previous post.
The women in my life are cultured, intelligent, diverse, understanding, creative, and spontaneous... all that most men could ask for and more. So if I were to stand the women of my life in front of me and ask if they meet these qualities, the answer is yes.
The truth is that I have been fortunate to have many women in my life of a supreme standard that I have simply not considered to be 'the one' . One of the oddest of statements to come out of my life begins with "I would be happy to spend my life with you...but", and although I have seldomly said that, I know that it is true for a few females that I have had the pleasure of knowing. For me, the minimum that I expect is to be simply "ABLE" to live with someone. What I look for is that rocketship love that propels a person to a place they have never been before. And perhaps that is a consequence of being me... I truly am happy with myself. I could live with myself, my thoughts and my friends for the foreseeable future with no problems. And that contentedness is what prevents me from settling with 'good'. Its spectacular or nothing! Maybe I am dooming myself to be alone forever, but the sad part is, I think I would be okay with that for the most part. I suspect the dying years of the 70's and 80's will be rough, but maybe God will sustain me then... All I know is, a partner will not serve to complete me, they would serve to transform me.
Back on track (it's cinco de mayo, and I have margarita's for blood). The list that I put forward for the perfect girl was doomed from the start. Not only can you not dictate who and what qualities you want in a person, but even if a person has that, there is no garuntee that you will fall for said person. From what I have experienced and observed from love, 50% comes from luck/fate/chance/destiny and the other 50% comes from the you and your state in life. Never is it as simple as this is what I want, this is what i will accept.
So do women that I know meet the criteria... YES. I would not name them here, because it would give yall on the list big heads, and hurt the feelings of those not listed, but you should know who you are. The only thing that the anonymous writer was wrong about was the right person being right in front of me. The right person should use the list I mentioned as a floor and not a ceiling. Meaning, it is the minimum to start off with. And even then, there are probably exceptions. So I confess that my list was incomplete and not indicitave of what I expect in a women. But maybe this is why guys never write such silly lists in the first place, we know they are hodge podge when put up against the test of the real world.
posted by Anthony Jackson at 7:33 PM
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