Welfare... brought to you by ExxonMobil

Please send me your addresses, bank account and routing numbers, and I will transfer $10,000 USD into your account on behalf of ExxonMobil Corp.

This is not charity. It is a Congressional mandate that our record profits be distributed to you saps who have to buy our gas.

Jokes aside, ExxonMobil just reported the largest quarterly profit in history. Breaking its own record. Come back in three months when we will break the record for annual profit as well.

Hate on me hater, now or later...

Go head and hate on me, hater...

What I got, I paid for...

You can hate on me...